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- In the mail this week I received an unsolicited catalog from an outfit called Sounds True promoting "Tools & Teachings for Personal & Spiritual Transformation." On the back cover, in 72pt type-face, they ask, "What's New in Timeless Wisdom?" I pretty sure they're serious.
- In my email this week I received a bit of spam offering a $250 McDonald's® gift card. Actually, I received two, which led me to wonder just who in the hell can spend $250 at McDonald's? I mean, the most I've ever spent at the place is maybe ten bucks, and after that I've had enough for a good, long while.
- Why am I so gassy all of a sudden?
- I'm not talking about burping, folks.
- I'm watching TV the other day and on comes this commercial promoting a law firm soliciting clients who've used anything containing quinine in an effort to relieve chronic leg cramps. Apparently, if you've ever had a leg cramp and have ever heard of the drug quinine you may have the basis for a specious lawsuit, so they'd love to talk with you. Call today to find out more about your rights under the law!
- My more alert readers will already have guessed what the next commercial was for.
- Je$$e Ja¢k$on said something stupid this week, which led me to wonder why in the hell people still pay attention to him.
- A guy opened up a shop down the road selling little motor scooter/moped/vespa-type things and has been stuffing flyers in mailboxes and doors and such. His slogan is "Makes It's Fun to Save Fuel."
- I was in Walmart the other day and saw on a clearance rack a can of "Low-odor Aircraft Remover." For all those non-aromatic airplanes you have lying around that you just have to get rid of.
- I was watching The Blues Brothers yesterday and I wondered if I got myself a vintage Pinto stationwagon, would I be able to get the custom license plate "ILL NAZI". Probably not.
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