Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ten Thought Thursday

  1. Him: "I woulda married the Coca-Cola chick, but she can't cook worth a damn."
  2. Her: "I would've married the Coca-Cola chick, but then we would've been social pariahs . . . but at least I wouldn't be living in a hole in the ground in New Mexico."
  3. I'm tired of seeing commercials for the Olive Garden like it's an authentic Italian restaurant. No self-respecting Italian would be caught dead eating there.
  4. If a train leaves New York City's Grand Central Terminal at 9:23am EST heading east at an average speed of 63mph and a second train leaves Chicago at 8:46am CST heading east at an average speed of 67mph, at what time are the people who come up with these questions going to realize that nobody takes passenger trains from New York to Chicago anymore, so who friggin' cares when they're gonna meet? Are they going to wreck? That would be cool.
  5. At what time did you finally realize that that train heading east out of New York wouldn't get very far before it plowed into the East River? Be honest.
  6. If I can eat with a knife, why can't I also eat with a kfork? Because english is a motley mess of a language, that's why.
  7. Who does Bret Favre think he is, anyway: Michael Jordan?
  8. When do we reach the point where we can tell politicians, "Thank you, we now have more than enough government to last us for a while. Now go home and do something productive for a change."?
  9. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chucked as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I really wanna know.
  10. The cheese stands alone.