The Österreich Strikes Back

An Austrian MP lectures the Turkish ambassador on his country's Islamist hypocrisy.

---

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

    If you were paying attention to the news this week you should've noticed that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four of his cohorts released a statement (PDF) responding to the government's conspiracy allegations vis-à-vis the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.  I went and read their statement and, aside from the fact that they should've hired a ghostwriter, or someone with an understanding of basic English syntax and grammar, one bit in particular caught my attention.  In response to allegations of terrorism, they write:

Our prophet was victorious because of fear . . . So, our religion is a religion of fear and terror to the enemies of God: the Jews, Christians, and pagans.  With God's wiling, we are terrorists to the bone. So, many thanks to God.

So, here we have it. They admit, openly and without reservation, that they are terrorists, that their religion is one of terror, and that this has been true since its inception.  In a sane world these men, and all others like them, would be hanging at the end of a rope.  Instead, we live in a civilized world where some think we have to come to a greater understanding with those who would simply destroy us.  Regarding understanding, the 9-11 Shura Council has this to say:

Also, God has informed us, in his book, of what is in your heart from fear and terror towards us, and that you fear and have been terrorized from us more than God himself. Verse 13, AI-Hashir: ((Of a truth you (Muslims) are more feared in their (the infidels from Christians, Jews, and others) hearts, than Allah. This is because they are men devoid of understanding.))

In this, they're right.  And it seems that the more they tell us, the more we choose to just not understand.

---

One of these days, Bahirah . . .

     Just about the only good thing about being sick with the flu is that it affords me plenty of time to read, and today I happened across a real gem: Muslim conventions on wife-beating. Now, at first I must admit that I wondered what all the fuss was about. I mean, if your wife won't do what you want her to do then you just smack her around until her attitude is properly adjusted. However, I did begin to wonder whether or not the great religion of love and peace had anything worthwhile to say on the application of physical violence. After watching a few video clips, I was surprised to find out just how wrong I was. The Muslim world has, over the centuries, developed a well-thought-out and nuanced approach to beating one's wife and I'd now like to share it with you, my readers.

Your wife is not your camel

     "Allah created women with these delicate, fragile, supple, and soft bodies . . . " So sayeth one of the great sages of Islam . . . I didn't catch his name, so don't bother to ask. From his teachings, however, it is quite clear that he is wise in the ways of Koranic domestic violence, so no name is necessary. His philosophy goes something like this: Allah created men generally stronger than women, so while women manipulate men by crying it is therefore both perfectly acceptable and quite natural for men to express their feelings through yelling and hitting. All praise be to Allah, then, for he has blessed us with a proper procedure which must be adhered to because, well, the only other alternative is to divorce the hag; take the house, the camel(s), and the kids; and then kick her to the curb as damaged goods. That would be a bad thing, the specter of divorce hanging over a man's head like that. So, in order to avoid such a situation the first thing a man must do with his wife is not to beat her, but to admonish her.
     A man's wife is not his camel. Or even his donkey, for that matter; both have far greater trade-in values. More importantly, at least for the matter at hand, animals can't understand most human speech, so if they won't comply with your orders it would be the height of folly to try to reason with them, and only an idiot would do anything other than beat them with a switch. A woman, however, does understand human speech, so the rational thing to do is to yell and scream at her. "Once, twice, three times, four times," even ten times or more if necessary, all in the hope that she'll eventually quit crying, get a clue and do you what you tell her to do already and quit bitching about it. Many times this will do the trick, but not always. Fortunately, there is a second step.

Not tonight; I have a headache

     Allah, in his infinite wisdom, has bestowed upon women two main weapons. The first of these is crying, often for no apparent reason whatsoever. The second is arguably the more potent of the two: the power of seduction. And when a man finds that admonishment fails to reform his wife's attitude, it his her seductive capacity that he must turn against her by refusing to talk or sleep with her. "How can this possibly work?" you ask? Fairly easily, that's how. Men are, by and large, strong and powerful and can do whatever they want. Women, by contrast, are weak and feeble and thus cannot do whatever they please. When a woman sees that her husband will not talk to her or sleep with her and that soon she will no longer have anyone on whom to depend, she will throw herself at his feet and beg him to allow her to do his bidding, this being the way Allah intended it. There is, of course, the possibility that a woman will simply refuse to acknowledge Allah's will. She may see her husband's alienated affections as a good thing. She may believe that it would be nice not having a man around the house bothering her. She may think it fine and dandy that she'll have the whole bed to herself at night so she'll be able to hog all the blankets and there won't be anyone around to complain about her ice-cold feet. She would be wrong, of course, and in such an extreme case of spousal intransigence there is one final disciplinary measure available to the faithful servant of Allah.

"Pow, right in the kisser!"

     No, not right in the kisser; such a thing is strictly forbidden by the Koran . . . when dealing with one's camel, of course. Striking your camel or donkey in the face is expressly verboten by the holy book, therefore it is doubly wrong when dealing with your wife. After all, she is a human being, albeit a weak and fragile one who can be easliy instructed through mild-to-moderate violence. They key here is to administer a light beating. As always, Allah has blessed us with some fairly specific guidelines as follows:

1. Thou shalt not beat thy wife in front of your children; this is a private matter between a man and his wife
2. Thou shalt not draw blood
3. Thou shalt not cause any bruising
4. Thou shalt not breaketh any bones
5. Thou shalt not beat thy wife in the face and thus cause her to look ugly

The purpose of all these rules is to impress upon the husband that the idea here is not to just simply cause pain. The purpose of beating a draft animal is to instruct the beast as to your wishes by using pain because, let's face it, it would be silly to yell at an animal, no matter how much better it would make you feel. The camel simply won't understand your anger, but it will understand the sting of a switch. A woman, however, is a much more emotional being, so some mild pain administered by, say, a toothpick will cause her far more emotional pain than physical, and will hopefully make her understand that her husband just cannot take any more of her insubordination. And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about: communication. That and bringing about in a wife the desired reformation of her attitude towards what Allah intended of women. One more thing: A husband should not wait until he is consumed with anger by his wife's behavior. He should rather strike before the iron gets hot and he ends up putting his fist through his wife's face as if he were venting his frustrations against the wall. This would be a violation of Allah's rules, and even if his wife forgives him for it he cannot be certain Allah will do the same on Judgement Day.

     Allahu Akbar.

---

For further instruction, please reference the following web sites:
http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/1594.htm
http://www.memritv.org/subject/en/159.htm

---

Hamasistan & East Palestine

---

By all accounts Hamas is making steady gains in their conquest of the Gaza strip, having earlier today overrun the headquarters building of the PA's Preventative Security Service (Preventing Security Since 1993!). However, Fatah forces have dismissed such rumors as part of a propaganda war on the part of Hamas. In fact, Fatah's position in the Gaza Strip is so secure that their party's leader, Palestinian Authotity President Mahmoud Abbas (aka Abu Mazen) met with his top aides way the hell over in the West Bank to "assess the situation" and perhaps rethink his governing coalition with Hamas.

With Hamas now pretty much in control of the whole of Gaza and having not much of a presence in the West Bank (what with those evil Zionists locking up most of their local leaders and all), it's pretty obvious what the outcome here is going to be: a) An Islamist wing-nut paradise in the Gaza Strip and b) a lovely, moderate Arab republic for the "secular" wing-nuts in the West Bank. Take a look at your map of the Middle East, boys and girls, and you'll see who's now stuck standing between these lovely fellows. That's right, it's Israel! And as we all know, everybody hates Israel . . . well, most everybody, anyway. I mean, there's the US, the UK (I think), and we pay Egypt to pretend to like them, but I digress. Even if Hamas takes a moment to catch its collective breath, eventually one or the other of them is going to start a cross-border war, mainly becasue thy're both just plain stupid. And in that event, Hamas wins again because they have open access to the sea and, thus, easy access to arms shipments from their new best friends in Iran who late last year promised to maintain a united front against Zionist aggression, or something like that. Meanwhile, Israel's "Partners in Peace", aka Fatah, have easy access to . . . Jordan. And Israel. How do you say "Say goodnight, Gracie" in Hebrew?